The Team That Helped Me Run 42 km.
This past summer, I started tossing around the idea of doing the Athens “Authentic” Marathon. I had been living in Greece for 4 years, and the timing seemed just right.
I had run a couple of marathons in my 20s, but now in my early 40s with two small kids this was different. My pace had slowed down to a crawl and my long distance running days seemed like a faded memory. I promised myself that once I managed to run for 75 minutes, I would register for the Marathon. The trouble was, I just couldn’t do it. My inner voice claimed to know why. “Who are you kidding?” she would say. “Your body just isn’t the same now that you’re a mom. Give it up!” Of course I knew this wasn’t true. I had created my own roadblock by making a long run mandatory before moving forward with what I wanted. I decided to change tack and just registered anyway.
To help prepare for the marathon and help get me where I wanted to go, I decided to utilize my resources and build a team. As the African Proverb goes, if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. Many people have the misconception that coaching is only for people who have “problems.” Coaching can indeed help those who feel stuck, but it can also help people who have visions and goals accomplish them more easily and with a greater sense of control.
I reached out to a colleague of mine and incredible Health and Wellness Coach, Gary Rankin (www.garyrankincoaching.com), and asked for his support. I explained to Gary that my goal was not to run the marathon, but rather to enjoy the journey getting there.
When telling friends I would be running the marathon, they would naturally ask, “What time are you aiming for?” In my mind, the key question was, “Why do I want to run a marathon?” That was a more complex question and required me to dig deeper into what my motivation was and how I wanted to feel when training and running.
As Gary and I explored why the marathon was important to me, I was surprised when I heard myself say, “because I want to prove to myself that I still can do anything that I set my mind to doing.” Why did I need to prove anything to myself, I wondered? What did running long distances have to do with other areas of my life? It sounded crazy, yet it made complete sense. At this stage in my life I had transitioned careers, opened my own business, and felt a bit unsteady, as anyone would in similar circumstances. Running was always my “go to,” thing, an action I could take to instantly lift my spirits and make me feel strong and powerful.
In the coaching realm we often speak of values: the principles you want to live by in life. Unlike goals, values can’t be checked off. As I was training for the marathon, I thought about how I could incorporate my values on an on-going basis to lead to greater self-fulfillment. Every time I went for a run, I wanted to feel challenged, powerful, carefree and alive while having fun. Gary asked me to fast forward time and imagine having completed the marathon. He had me describe what that would look like, what it would feel like. A clear picture came to mind. I wanted to feel like Super Mom.
Super Mom, in my mind, was a woman who played with her kids, carved out time for herself, demonstrated by example, maintained a work-life balance and understood that she had it in her to be greater and braver than she believed herself to be. This image reminded me of all my values and set the tone for how I wanted to run the marathon and how I wanted to experience the journey.
Together Gary and I identified the inner blocks that popped up along the way and dispelled the negative thoughts from my inner critic. As I explain to all my clients, coaching works on the whole person, not just one area. As you work on your goals, other areas of your life improve.
It wasn’t just Gary whom I asked to join me on this journey. I created a team of support. I asked one of my best friends Bert, a triathlete, to guide me on Sports Nutrition and Muscle Recovery, something she is passionate about. I wanted to eat the right things and to protect my body from injury, but I knew that I wasn’t interested in doing the research. I also found a dedicated running partner to train with me. When I run, I don’t like to look at the time or the pace, I just like to go. Laura, on the other hand, didn’t mind keeping us on track. I forwarded her sports nutrition articles and a training program. She would tell me each week what we needed to do and would keep track of our pace.
I also wanted a reminder that I had what it took to be a Super Mom, something to serve as inspiration. I decided that I’d wear a costume during all my races. A client of mine said that when she does phone interviews, she dresses smartly and wears a suit as it makes her feel powerful. This was the same for me when I ran in this costume - it inspired me beyond anything that I could have imagined.
So now I’ve completed the marathon, here are my top tips I learned along the way, tips that apply to all goals in our lives:
- Create a vision. What are your goals and dreams? Why do you want to accomplish these goals? What will you feel like when you have achieved them? By creating a vision, you give yourself something to grow into.
- Assemble your team. You have a wealth of resources at your fingertips and you know what works for you. How can you get others involved? Who can support you in your journey?
- Identify your values. What are your top values? Why are they important to you? How do they relate to your goals? Often times you can feel a sense of fulfillment just by living in line with your values, as you continue working towards your goals. In what ways did you live by your principles today?
- Find your inspiration. What is it that can serve as a reminder of your values? Mine was a superwoman costume. Yours may be a sticky note on the mirror, a photograph, a screen saver on your phone.
Was I able to live according to my values while I trained? For the most part, yes. Did I hit bumps along the way? Of course. I got sick and my asthma acted up. This created all sorts of negative and unhelpful thoughts . My first long practice run, a local half-marathon, was a disaster. I started off so fast that I had to walk the last half. From that experience I learned what kind of running partner I wanted to be, how important communication was and how enlightening post-run discussions can be. My inner critic would occasionally appear and tell me a slew of unhelpful things to get me to throw in the towel. I thanked her and reassured her that I could handle it. I used myself and my team to help me get around every curve ball thrown my way.
After many months of training and preparation I completed the Marathon on November 12th. Hands down, it was one of my most exhilarating and euphoric life experiences. I stretched and pushed myself and there were times where I wanted to give up, but I persevered. Super Mom was a superhero, she lapped up the high fives, the applause, the laughter and the cheering from the crowds. Super Mom crossed the finish line that day and I was extremely proud.
When friends ask how quickly I finished the marathon, I now know this really isn’t the important question to ask. Instead, I want to tell them about the journey to reach that line, and how I made it there.
Alison Goldstein, Life & Transition Coach, www.alisongoldstein.com
